Everyone need someone or something to inspire them and it’s not just young people who need inspiration – baby boomers are included as well. For baby boomers, it can help them move from just an “ordinary” life to something more engaging and meaningful. Inspiration is something that give us purpose. The magnificent Booms Day Prepping panelists join the program and have an engaging conversation on what inspires them as they age.
Wayne Bucklar: You’re listening to Booms Day Prepping, our regular look at what’s happening for Baby Boomers. And today, we’re looking at the things that inspire us as we age. As usual, my co-host is Dr. Drew Dwyer. We’re joined by Brian Hinselwood, Bron Williams, Amanda Lambros and Glenn Capelli and my name is Wayne Bucklar. Today to kick us off, Drew let’s start with you.
Dr. Drew Dwyer: Hi everybody, welcome. This is a great subject for me because it particularly adds and pertains itself to the positive ageing aspect that we’ve discussed and continue to discuss within our podcast. But I had planned today to have a guest speaker who unfortunately has not been able to make it, that was Dawn the Great Australian legend, Dawn Fraser. Dawn contacted me yesterday, unfortunately, she couldn’t make it because in Australia at the moment the Commonwealth Games is about to kick off. So she’s being dragged away to carry a baton at 80 years of age and to carry the baton in the run into the stadium. But these are the things that inspire me. Here’s a woman, Dawn Fraser, an Olympic legend, 80 years of age, inspiring any athlete, any older person, for me that’s an inspirational thing. Here’s an 80 year old woman, she’s gonna run the baton into the stadium, whatever she’s gonna do, pass it on to a younger one, I haven’t seen yet. But an opportunity to come on my podcast and she says, “No, I’m going to the Commonwealth Games. I’m still a member, I’m a legend, I’m in the OIC committee.” Very busy lady, for me inspirational. I know Dawn very well and she’ll give you the very cutting edge black and white part of it. Never drop your inspiration, never give up your passion, never say never. And there’s a great picture if everyone has not seen it, of a frog being eaten by a stork, where he’s got his hands around the stork’s neck choking it while the stork’s trying to swallow the frog. Every time I see it, I think of people like Dawn Fraser. And as an older Australian and a legend Australian, I have no doubt that she gets challenged from being a sports legend and a fit, healthy, active profile person to now being an older person and cutting through those stereotypes of ageing. So inspiration for me as an older person is very personal to the individual. For me, I think it’s important to find your passions and own them and I think we’ve discussed this before but it’s something I want to throw out on the panel. The inspiration of what has meaning and purpose to you as an individual particularly as we age will be the things that give you purpose to keep you away from isolation in your communities. It’s those personal passions no matter how hard they are that we should push on with, step out and probably because we have the time to build more passion around that inspiration.
Glenn Capelli: Good day everyone and I always love the theme of “Inspiration.” 18:15 – 18:20 minutes
Wayne: Brian, I know you’ve got a view about this.
Brian Hinselwood: I’ve got a view about everything Wayne, you know that. None of them necessarily make any sense but I do have a view. And my view on this particular subject and I agree totally with what Drew has just said. I think if you’ve got a passion, then you should follow it to the best of your ability. As regular listeners and everybody on the panel knows, I’m heavily involved in acting. And I’m always amazed when older people particularly sit around and say “I’ve got nothing to do, blah, blah, blah.” Everywhere, everywhere has got amateur dramatic societies. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in Melbourne, or Wagga or some other obscure little places, not of either both places are obscure. But it doesn’t matter where you are, they all amateur dramatic societies. They’re not just looking for actors, they’re looking for people to build sets. So if you’ve been a carpenter, or a plumber, or a painter or whatever, they’re looking for people with costumes. So if you’ve been in the rag trade in any form at all, there’s dozens, and dozens and dozens of jobs and you meet generally speaking, really nice people. And it’s recreating another family. I still get asked, in fact I’ve been ask to do two plays later on this year. And I keep thinking, “No, I really don’t want to do another play, what if I forget the lines? What if I do this?” But then you think, “Oh if I didn’t do them, I really quite enjoy doing them.” So yes, you need to have a passion and you need to invest as you can to follow it, whatever that passion is.
Bron Williams: Yes, I would totally agree. And when I saw that this is the topic for this week, what inspires us as we age, I’ve been asked that question and I came back with, “I inspire myself” which is what I think that Drew is alluding to. It’s about finding the inspiration within ourselves and I think as we’ve grown older, we’ve got all this wisdom hopefully. We’ve certainly got a lot of knowledge and experience and we draw on that and I think that inspires us. I think the ability to look back and go, “My goodness, look at all the things that I’ve already done” and we look forward and think, “No, God willing I’ve got another 30 years. I’m gonna keep trying and doing what I can and maybe step into new places.” Like I’ve stepped into the online space in the last two years outside of just normal Facebook indirections of being able to use them for business and I didn’t know how to do that, but I’ve learned to do that because it follows one of my passions of being connected and communicating. So going ahead with that, because I keeping up on learning stuff, that’s a really important thing to be able to do and learning for me has been a lifelong journey. Not just the formal stuff at uni, but reading, talking with other people, getting their insights. Just keep on, the world is there.
Amanda Lambros: Bron, you’ve also stepped into the author space as well.
Bron: I have, that’s correct. Yes. That’s been an online thing too as well as the communication, so learning how to use, create space with Amazon, how do I write a book, get it all published on the internet.
Glenn: So what inspires us as we age? What inspires me as I age? Some of the stuff that has been in my life from very, very young period of time continues to grow and flow in my life as I get older. And one of them is the great philosopher Kris Kristofferson. Now many folk may not remember Kris but I think those with music at their core of them would know that the beauty of this magnificent singer-songwriter, storyteller and probably wrote one of the greatest opening lines of any song “Busted flat in Baton Rouge heading for a train, feeling nearly as faded as my jeans” and that might be JEANS and it might be GENES. Hopefully, our jeans do not need to fade as we get old but the Kris Kristofferson, I watched him being interviewed and he was talking about his very, very good friend Johnny Cash and in the final years of his life, Johnny Cash said to Kris, “Do you feel as you’re getting older that you feel you can cry a lot easier and a lot more?” And Kristofferson looked back at Johnny Cash and said, “No, no, not at all.” But then when Johnny Cash had left the planet, when his good mate had died, it really hit home and he did find himself more and more with tears in his eyes in life, tears of memory of his friend, tears of just things that would bring tears to his eyes in a good way – looking at the sunset, looking at the sunrise, being out in nature, or spotting some act of kindness for human beings and tears would come. So what inspires me as I age? The fact that we can open up more to cry a bit and tears in our eyes, we can share joyous tears. I know my dad was talkative compared to my grandfather because granddad really spoke. But Dad never said much, but when he spoke, it was either funny or worth listening to. But as he got older, some of the rage and the anger inside of Dad sort of seemed to not vanish but it seemed to at least dissolve a little and hugging became a part of his life. Probably inspired by my brother Gary as well as myself and my sister Karen. But he started to hug more, he started to let people know just how funny he was. So he was able to spread even more laughter as he as he got older. So let’s hope as we age that what inspires me are the things that can bring joyous tears to the eyes and a good hug of the body of mates, and family and friends.
Dr. Drew: Interestingly enough when you look at I mean, I can’t help myself, I’m a researcher as part of my components. But when you look around and you look at the research because I’m fascinated by information and of evidence. And you hear a lot of crap, no matter where you go, people’s opinions, they’re like assholes as Wayne says everybody has one. But at the end of the day, in those opinions is some interesting stuff to be inspired by or look forward to or look deeper at. But one of the institutes I do have a look at all the time is the Kauffman Foundation from America. They have a lot of findings that come out. Now believe it or not, people over the age of 55 turning towards 60 are most likely to be the people who are gonna found new and successful companies than those people who are aged between 20 and 35. And that’s an interesting statistic to look at and they say basically the statistics that are in there, these people are seldom recognized and celebrated by the youth for what they’ve done as they’re seen as more particular privileged, older privileged, white older privileged – this is the language that’s being used. But in an actual fact, the statistics clearly show it’s the older people who have the wisdom, the knowledge, the experience of probably failure that they are more likely or twice as likely to found new and successful companies over the age of 55 and 60. And there’s a really inspiring fact if you understand it that your life doesn’t end because you go over 55, 60. You can actually with a bit of passion, find something and strike yourself and surprisingly enough, more women do this than men.
Wayne: Now speaking of women, Amanda, what inspires you?
Amanda: Well my inspiration when I looked at this for this week is actually two-fold. So I get inspired by kids and my kids alone are pretty cool. But most kids in general, I just take the time to actually observe them and see what it is that they’re doing and some of the stuff they do is just mind-blowing to me. So I really draw a lot of inspiration from kids and what they’re doing and how they interact with people and then the flip side of that is that I do a lot of volunteering in old-age homes and I get so much inspiration from I’m gonna say the population that are 90 plus. So the ones who have had a lot of life experience and when you have these wonderful chats with them, there’s completely open mic about it. Like they don’t hold anything back, they don’t sugarcoat it, they just tell you like it is and I absolutely love that. So for me, it’s like really being able to sit, and listen and hear what it is that they’re saying – that to me is inspirational.
Dr. Drew: I have a little inspiring thought in the back of my head which I must say a conversation I must have at Wayne eventually in a little process we’re gonna do together soon and that is I mean I would be inspired to create and bring forward the stories of these people because I’m often confronted when I meet a patient or working with a patient, or client, a resident in a nursing home and I find out their history, their background and their life story. What they have done, what they’ve been through and where they are at today. And yet no one in the building or servicing or around them understand who they are, where they’ve been, what they’ve done. And it’s the most fascinating stuff to see and yet the stories themselves could be stories used to inspire others in a modern world about where where it goes so there’s a concept of inspiration that has yet to come up but it can.
Amanda: And I think that’s a brilliant idea. I really do, I met one of my most poignant memories is a couple who had been married for over 80 years. She was a 104, he was a 108 and they lived in the nursing home together. And I was just like “this is amazing.” I just sat there in awe because I thought this is the coolest thing ever. They had ten kids, they unfortunately outlived most of their own children. But I was like, “What kept you together for that many years? Like that’s awesome. I’m a sexologist, I work in the relationship space, give me as much as many of your secrets as you can so that I can share these with the world.” And I thought that was pretty cool.
Dr. Drew: And the fact that you relate sex with work.
Amanda: That’s pretty cool too.
Brian: It’s interesting both Drew and Amanda that you brought that up because many, many years ago in the early 70s, I went to the U.S. and I met a great aunt of mine. Nobody in my immediate family had ever met because she had left England at the age of 19 and gone on a sailing clipper to Cuba, I’ll cut out the bulk of the story. When I met her, she was 92 and she kept referring to me as much as if I were my father but she’d never met my father but she knew that he was her sister’s son. And it wasn’t until I don’t know a couple of years later, 5 years later maybe that I thought I should have been recording everything this woman said. I didn’t of course because you don’t, you’re meeting this elderly lovely, lovely, lady. She could have told me so much about my family that I didn’t know and I will never now find out. And it’s like Amanda talking about this elderly couple that she met, you can only get that knowledge from one point and that’s from the people who lived through whatever it is you’re talking about. And it’s such a shame that people who work with older people in various retirement villages and whatever, the stories those people must have to tell is his treasure really.
Dr. Drew: Brian for me, people always ask me why I do the work I do because when people actually physically meet me and they get around my energy, they sort of had a bit of a disconnect to why I do what I do. But I’m inspired by the work I do because it inspires me and one of the things I truly say to Baby Boomers, this group, this panel and above and particularly people probably up to about 75 because I still see that as quite young. And that is there’s so much we have to offer the modern society, the Millennial changing society and yet we’re being silenced and you guys are being silenced and we’ve got to stop this silence, we’ve got to be very proactive at the moment and go on a minute, “Oh wowowowow. We didn’t just arrive here, we didn’t just press a button on a computer and boom, we’re in the new millennium and we’re here and it’s there and all these new brutal language and stuff is appearing.” This was created particularly, I only look at Australia created through a process of learning, development, growth and sacrifice, and inspiration, and stories and this all needs to come back out now because it needs to put a hush or probably not a hush but some balance to some of the stuff that society is bringing forward and experiencing because the older stuff, the more entrenched traditions, not all of them, but they still have their foundations to inspire the modern world to do things progressively with a bit more balance.
Bron: Totally. We’re talking about recording before. My niece, my sister’s daughter, she records, she talks to my mum. Everytime she comes to see my mum, she records it on her phone. She asks Mum a few questions about her life because she’s aware. She’s a journalist too so she understands the value of stories but she’s aware that this information is going to pass away with Mum. Mum is getting older and frailer and the time I think is rapidly drawing to a close. So to be able to take those stories and I think it sort of matches with how I felt when I turned 60. I look back over 6 decades and think “Holy Dooley, that’s a lot of life to have lived and I’ve done a lot in those 60 years but I still have stuff more to do.” And I agree with you Drew, my boys particularly my two younger ones, they think that Baby Boomers have ruined in the world.
Dr. Drew: Yes. It’s no different, the young ones think they invented sex and I just shake my head. I used to think of when I was young and thinking on how to get a girl, they know nothing, then you get over yourself and you realize. And the younger ones and my millennial children we say to them, “You didn’t invent this stuff.”
Brian: In defense of your two younger children Bron, I will say that if you were around during the 60s which was all the hippies and the peace and whatever, and we were going to change the world and we probably have less peace since the 60s than we ever have in whatever number of thousand years before. So I think we’ve led ourselves down to a lot.
Wayne: I’m not sure about that Brian. I think those couple little skirmishes they call World War I and II might have balanced that a little bit.
Brian: Yes. But I think the only difference is when they have those skirmishes as you’d like to call them, that they were huge and they lasted for a finite period. We’ve had kind of continuous wars pverseas, Vietnam, Korea, stuff in Africa, stuff in the Middle East that they’re never called wars. They’re just constant mass killings is what they are, anyway.
Dr. Drew: Yes, of course. But inspiration wise, I mean I asked this question to the panel today because I ask it of the Baby Boomers and the older people that I work with every day, what inspires him? Because I do is, I’ll put it in a simple term, I’d say I’ve got a fellow, he might be 65, 70 years of age, he’s a Baby Boomer, he’s quite young to me and yet he’s more abunding himself. More abunding means he’s bed-bound, chair bound, isolating, he’s probably got some difficulty, some chronic comorbidity. But I want to find the point that inspires him.
Wayne: Drew, just explain chronic comorbidity for me please.
Dr. Drew: A “Chronic Comorbidity” is a term clinically that we give and of course, I always speak in two paradigms like front-end language for consumer back-end language for clinician or expert. That chronic comorbidity is the identification or diagnosis of two or more diseases that interrelate and then progressively cause or bring frailty to the body. So being diagnosed with diabetes and being diagnosed with congestive cardiac failure and then being diagnosed from those two diseases by being incontinent of feces and urine mainly because of the medications you take to keep yourself under control with these things and then of course, having aged and then getting high blood pressure or low blood pressure, you are now classed as “Chronic Comorbid.” Which means we have a number of diseases to deal with, assess and manage, we have a number of things to take into factor and as we do treat one, we have to consider the other because if we treat the congestive cardiac failure with perhaps some medication that also causes a buildup of fluid, we’ll give you a medication that then a diuretic that removes that fluid but then that causes incontinence which changes your quality of life which means you have to wear a pad or you can’t go to the toilet. So then we start to encroach on an individual’s life. When I work around in the elderly particularly in residential care or in independent living units, in controlled accommodation environments, these are the factors that gerontological nurses like me focus on. Doctors, medical doctors don’t like doctors like me because I want the drugs gone because I want the older person to independently use the toilet, have a life. Change their holistic view and their pathophysiology by letting them understand the journey and the trajectory of their disease and their chronic illness and perhaps improving their life and giving them more control, understanding at some point, it’ll kill them and they will die. But that’s an expectation that we know clinically but isn’t an expectation that we know the patient understands. Or can we improve this and give more control through the use of CAM therapy, lifestyle changes, diet changes and taking a different approach? So chronic comorbidity means a person is very complex and if we don’t address it well, we could force more of this on them which for me is the stuff I hate. So I want the 75 year old up, I want him moving, I want him going. So it’s a psychological process and that’s why I did a degree in this area as well so I could learn, dig into this man, find out his circles of influence and find the stuff that inspired him. When you look at their life, you realized at some point, they were inspired, he went to war. Something’s has got to inspire you had to get up and go into battle. I can assure you from a person that has done it. And find those things, pull them out, reinspire that person, motivate them, set goals with them. This is a hard process to do I can assure you but it exists in the human being and Florence Nightingale had some very good words to say about this by using data and information around the patient, bringing it forward and focusing on it and getting this person back to an inspired or motivated stage to do what the goal needs for them to achieve wellness or for them to achieve quality in the end stage of their life. I don’t know if either Amanda or Bron finds the same, they both consult with these people.
Amanda: Identifying the same thing and that’s where I was saying that I draw my inspiration from these people in both ends of the spectrum – that older population, just sit there, and listen, hear what they have to say. There’s so many of these I don’t know unfortunately, like you were saying the comorbid situation that it’s not just one thing that’s put them in there, there’s a lot of things going on. And it’s being able to take the time and go, “You’re not just bedridden therefore we need to get rid of you.” It’s “Tell me your stories, explain to me how can I help. What can I do? What would you like?” Because they’re still people and there’s just so much, it’s just inspiring.
Dr. Drew: I have an old man at the moment that I deal with. He’s a friend of mine in a way connected through the family but he’s quite chronically comorbid, unwell, 72 young. He has COPD which is “Congestive Obstructive Pulmonary Disease” of course a combination of other things – lung infections, lung disease, heart problems. He also has peripheral problems from that and swelling ankles and pitting edema and a number of things. He is quite isolated now but still married, his wife lives in one end of the house, he lives in the other, they don’t communicate. His life is deteriorating – he has no motivation, no anything. And when you go through his life and I have gotten a look at how inspiring he was in the clubs and associations, a war veteran, a member of the Lions, a member of this, a leader of that, being given awards – to see disease ageing in process, confined him to a space where not even his public life or his inspiration exists. The fact that he’s influenced of family and love doesn’t inspire him. His wife’s not inspired by him anymore, they’re on opposite ends of the house. It’s a focus of mine to find that inspiration, to drive that inspiration, give motivation because I’ve got older people I work with. Some of the ladies I meet in the Crimson Club and the Lavender Groups, they volunteer and they do it constantly and they’re religious. As soon as they see you they go, “Give me a donation. Give me money. I want a book. I want a magazine. Let’s go and make coffee. Let’s make scones.” I see Margaret coming down on the bus and I go, “Hello love. How are you going?” “I’ve got more lemons to make them and then I’m going to drop this lot off and then I’m going over the Lions Club and then I’m gonna pick up these and Joan and I are doing scones and gym blah, blah, blah.” And I look at her and go, “I Love You, God I love you. Look at you, nearly 80 years of age, you’re on the go, you’re not moving and you’re not giving in.” And I ask them, “What inspires you?” And they often give me very short sweet responses and they say, “Better off alive and kick and then dead and not living.” Or they’ll go, “You can’t be the richest one in the cemetery.” And off they go, they walk off and you have to think about some of their little quotes and they’re what inspires me and I want a lot of Boomers to take the time to reach into yourself because this is where it belongs. What inspires you? What didn’t inspire you? Keep bring it up and bring it forward because one of the things that inspired me when I was a young fellow and during that change in life because I was around this group of people was Boy George believe it or not in the 80’s or 79, 80, 81, 82, when he first hit the scene. I remember my family, extremely homophobic and now I have a number of young gay people in my family. But the controversy and the disconnection and the aggression around this and all I could see in this whole process was courage, bravery and inspiration because as a nurse in the 80s dealing with the AIDS epidemic and specifically in St. Vincent’s Hospital and army nurses used to go in there a lot to work with them. And of course, homosexuality in the army had only just become acceptable, to step into that inspiring space to see the gay community pushing itself out on the limb very dangerously. Somebody like Boy George and and I know a lot of Boomers are probably cringing at the moment but I don’t care. It’s a case that there was the inspiration, not about him and his dress and his clothes and his gayness and anything else. It’s about, look at the courage and the light on this fellow to bring it up, to throw it out there in a gentle way which he did globally to say “Don’t hurt me, don’t attack me. I’m a good person. I’m just different to the rest of you.”
Amanda: I think one of the things that you mentioned that I think has been an undercurrent for a lot of the podcasts that we’ve done is this “keep moving, stay active.” You tend to find that the older we get, the more that we’re staying active as much as our body will allow us to, the better off you’re gonna be because it is those ones who are 80 and 90 and who keep moving and who keep doing the volunteers and the drop-offs and all that stuff that see, you have this joie de vivre like this “I really want to live this life as much as possible.” And granted unfortunately, some of us end up with medical problems or things that can kind of hold us back but it’s like as long as you have that ability to keep on moving, keep moving.
Glenn: It’s interesting for me, this whole thing because I think one of the things that is most inspiring in life as I’ve gotten older, I look more for acts of kindness for people. I look more for acts of selflessness, so when they’re not being selfish. It’s so easy for people to get so wrapped up in themselves and making melodrama of their own life or, “Look at me, look at me, look at me. How good do I look on Instagram?” But what I look for and what I find myself responding better to in life for those folk and and maybe their young folks sometimes who care. Young folks who showed little kindnesses and thereso in private ways, in private environments and when I spot this, I smile to myself and sometimes they even approach them and just say, “Good on you, listen you don’t know me, but I just saw what you did and that was sensational. Good on you. Well done.” So I would hope that as we get older, we’re inspired by humility. As we get older, we’re inspired by a little acts of gentle kindness. As we get older that we are inspired by the things that bring the joys, tears to our eyes and things in nature, things of natural life. And that ongoing friendship, the friends that we’ve had for 60, 70, 80 years in some cases who know the arc of the story of where we’ve been, and where we’ve come from, and all we’ve done and how we got to who we are and that’s bloody inspiring too.
Wayne: Now Amanda, I’d classify that as “Use it or lose it.” Is that true in a sexual sense as well? Is there truth to this rumor that use it or lose it is part of the game?
Amanda: Yes, absolutely, from a sexual health perspective. Oh Drew, don’t say no. From a sexual health perspective, you should use it, you may lose it.
Dr. Drew: No, I’m not saying that. I was just shaking my head Amanda because I know many of older men that I’ve had to bathe because the girls come up the hallway and go, “Drew, can you get down there because Brian’s got it hanging out again at six o’clock in the morning” and I get down there. “Hello Brian, let’s put that away. We’ll give it a wash or we’ll give you some time to give it a wash.”
Brian: Of all the names that you could have picked Drew.
Wayne: But Brian, you always point the way I’m told.
Dr. Drew: I was shaking my head there Wayne and Amanda because I understand what Wayne is saying. You have to use it or lose it but in control of sexuality, it’s there, it’s core. What we know about the science of this, Amanda back me in please, this is called Human Primal Instinct and it doesn’t go away.
Amanda: It doesn’t ever, ever go away. And I think that’s one of the things is that we have to remember, it’s part of us and who we are. So if all of a sudden it magically stops, it’s not because “I’ve hit 55 therefore it stops.” No, if all of a sudden it stops, chances are there’s something medically wrong. So know your body and know what’s going on because it shouldn’t just magically stop, it shouldn’t just decrease because you hit a certain age, it could be kind of like a really nice continuum all the way through. And also one of the things something like as simple as prostate cancer. The more that you’re actually ejaculating, just be really simple, it cleanses out the prostate. So you should be choosing to ejaculate regularly even if your partner or even if you don’t have a partner doesn’t want to engage with that, you should still as a male, continue to ejaculate to clear the prostate and make sure everything continues to work.
Dr. Drew: And I’ve said this before, masturbation is a great thing. You won’t go blind and girls
can do this much as boys. And if you need to do it private, it’s private thing. It doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. But take your time, isolate, use your imagination, get your inspiration and go and jack off because it’s a great thing to do to the human body.
Brian: And you always meet such lovely people when you’re masturbating.
Dr. Drew: Yes, you do.
Bron: Yes, you do.
Amanda: Do you now?
Brian: Well I do.
Dr. Drew: My wife and I have had this conversation and she says, “Faceless men, faceless men” and I’d like to dig a bit deeper in the conversation when she does say to me. I want to go, “What do you mean by faceless men? Who are these men that are with you when you’re masturbating?” And she said, “I don’t know, they don’t have faces.”
Amanda: Well the good news, is they have bodies.
Brian: It could be that they’re standing behind her Drew. I don’t know.
Dr. Drew: Yes. As long as they’re not the “Brad Pitts.”
Brian: The Brad Pitts are easy to deal with because these images that are out of reach. It’s when it’s the milkman or the guy next door that’s a problem.
Wayne: I’m on a personal mission to have Amanda to say the magic words in every episode. Is “lube” useful for masturbating in older age?
Amanda: Lube should always be used, “Lube, lube, lube, lube.” So there are some fabulous types of lube. I don’t know if I’m allowed to name-drop.
Dr. Drew: Yes. I like it.
Amanda: There is a fabulous lube, it’s made in the Netherlands, it’s called “PJUR.” Absolutely the best thing on the market, I don’t care what country you’re in, you need to order that stuff.
Dr. Drew: It must be the Danish or Northern Europeans because I like the one called “Swiss” like Swiss Army knife they also have a Swiss Lube. Fantastic.
Amanda: There you go. And you just need to pay attention if you’re using water-based lube or silicone-based lube. So silicone-based lube if you have very nice thousand count sheets or silk sheets, it may leave some stains on your sheets. Whereas water-based lube washes off quite nicely.
Dr. Drew: Do not use oil-based.
Amanda: Do not use oil-based ever, ever, ever. So if you do need that extra little bit of slit, go silicone-based but the funny thing is with silicone, you’re gonna be slippery for the rest of the week. So just a little is a lot.
Bron: The overriding thing that I’m hearing in all of this is take responsibility for yourself whether it’s your inspiration, whether it’s your sexuality, whether it’s your interest in life, no one is gonna do it for you. That comes back to our inspiration in ourselves. And like Amanda said that obviously not everybody gets the same pathway in terms of health but even when your health is not as good as you would like it to be, don’t use it as an excuse for not continuing to develop yourself. Certainly I wouldn’t imagine that health gets in the way of masturbation unless your hands don’t work but just enjoy your life, it’s yours.
Dr. Drew: I mean inspiration as I said is very individual and I think the key message today out of the podcast, I want all the Boomers and anyone listening to it is that out of all the jokes on there and the rhetoric we’re trying to do and have fun in a podcast is that key message its individual, if you had that most people know what it is. If you don’t have that oil in your lantern burning bright, cast your mind back, sit down with some memories, go back, look at some photos find that part of you that was inspired by things or something that inspired you and take that inspiration and now that you have the time as a Baby Boomer, or in retirement, or in your life change and in your third phase, take some passion and add some fire or fuel to your fire and stand up and don’t worry about judgment and go for it. Be inspired, change the world and give it a go, put out some controversy and be somebody who rattles cages or one of the people that likes to disrupt. Be a disruptor.
Brian: Disruptor, I like that. When you’re working in various nursing homes, do people of our age and older still worry about upsetting people? I don’t mean upsetting, abusing them, I mean upsetting them with their thoughts, with their theories.
Dr. Drew: Brian, what I find over a large cohort of studying people is it those with a good cognitive application, good emotional intelligence and I do meet many of them and they have a mission, they’re on a mission. I mean they’re probably isolated through economic reasons, they’re in a nursing home, quite immobile, quite effective. They’re up and out of that nursing home every day at the local shops, the coffee shops, they’re very verbal outside of the facility. They’re quiet inside the facility, they listen a lot. When there’s a staff meeting, residents meeting, these are the people that do all of the speaking because the other residents will come to them because they know that they will speak on their behalf and they’re relentless. However and I often tell staff, “Be quiet. But Brian may be quiet but you’re not attending the residents conference and it’s Brian who does all the talking.” So they they listen a lot, they learn a lot. But what I do find is they’re not afraid to speak their mind, they are cognitive of the battles they’ll take on at the time or “I don’t need to say anything at this point because that young person there hasn’t got enough experience. I’ll just let him loose lips, sink ships.” Or they get very cognitive of the fact of you are not worth the argument because you’ve got no idea baby, “I’ll let that pan out for you and I might be here to pick up the mess when you’re drowning in it.” So they become just cognitive of the fact of either pick your battle and go in or shut up and say nothing. I don’t think they’re afraid of offending people, I think most of them tell me, “Who can be bothered arguing with that?”
Brian: Right, yes. I was thinking the other day literally since the day before yesterday, when you read these things about “if you could who are the six people you’d like to invite for dinner?” I mean it’s all about this sort of thing and I was trying to think and then I was thinking, “Well so they have to be in the country living, do they have to be alive, can you pick anybody?” So yes, it just the same sort of thing that people are like to have a conversation with.
Dr. Drew: I do the same Brian. As I said, Gai Waterhouse is one for me, I would love to have her at a dinner table with me having a conversation. Unfortunately, some of the people I want are now dead. Jerry Lewis is one, he’s still alive at 91 years of age. I’d love to have Jerry Lewis at the table with Gai Waterhouse. I would have loved to have had Robert Williams but unfortunately he had his tragic end through depression. I’ve gotta keep selecting a list but there’s some fascinating people that I’d love to sit at a table, open a conversation and go for it and just watch the debate, and the interjection and the inspiration I would get from it and particularly some young people at that table.
Amanda: Mine would be Maya Angelou.
Dr. Drew: Who?
Amanda: Maya Angelou. She’s a very famous black writer and activist and she has written some of the most insightful things that if you actually took the time to like sit back and read her stuff, she’s just brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
Dr. Drew: Oprah Winfrey, not interested.
Amanda: No, I just want Maya. I think Oprah has taken a lot of her stuff from Maya so let’s just go to the head.
Dr. Drew: Who inspires you Wayne?
Wayne: Well as a matter of fact, I’m inspired by the clock and it’s ticking around. Time is running out on us. So some inspirational last words perhaps Drew?
Dr. Drew: My inspirational last word would probably be look inside yourself. Your history is who made you today and it will develop your future tomorrow.
Glenn: So yes, I think one of the inspirations for me has always been music and I think music at its core is inside every human being. Now far deeper down in some than others, but every culture has had its music, it has its song, it has its good vibration, it has its dance. So I can still find great inspiration in music and some of the musicality whether it’s a lyricist like Kris Kristofferson or Leonard Cohen, whether it’s somebody who not only knows lyrics but melody like Carole King or whether it’s the sorrow of such a young talent as Amy Winehouse who like many musicians went way too young. But seemed in the 27 odd years that she was on the planet that she had a depth of musical soul, that was beyond 27 years, reached back into Billie Holiday type of stuff and Ella Fitzgerald. So I can still put on a song and find myself my foot gets to start tapping and body starts to move and dance seems to just be inside or I can put on a song and be swept up in the lyrics, “Will you still love me tomorrow?” Yes, we still will as long as we’re finding those things that inspire us as we age.
Wayne: And Brian?
Brian: My final word would be just do what you feel is right for you. Just go out and don’t be concerned with what other people may or may not think.
Amanda: Take the time to listen to those who inspire you and action anything if you can.
Wayne: And Bron?
Bron: Trust your intuitive genius.
Wayne: And I have to say I do like Stephen Fry’s quote the “Beyond gluttony – he means both sex and food – all pleasure is in conversation.” And I think having reached a little down the path of ageing, my inspiration comes from the stories and the storytelling and in particular, what we’re doing right now reaching a global audience off a laptop – that technological capacity just blows my mind in the ease with which we can spread our stories if we choose to do so and it amazes me that more and more people don’t do exactly that. So let us head off into another week. Dear listeners, thank you for joining us. Next week, I think we have some questions from listeners to answer. We’ve received a question about when is the right time to set up an enduring power of attorney and what is it and why do I need one? We’ve received some questions about if someone that I’m connected with is injured in a nursing home, how do I react? Do I make a big deal about it? Don’t I make a big deal about it? Is behavior by staff likely to be vengeful? Is there an issue? So some some issues about behaving in nursing homes. And we’ve also received a question about when your partner is beginning to not be cognitively well, how do you pick that? And the same question had a double-barrel of it about when do you give up driving. So we do get questions from some of our listeners and please dear listener, click all the buttons around your social media apps. Click the “like”, click the “love”, click all the other things you can because we do appreciate hearing from you. And on any of the channels, please drop us a question, we will find it and we will respond to it. Panelists, thank you, it’s been a pleasure having you with us again – Brian, Amanda, Glenn and Bron, thank you for sharing your time with us today.
Brian: Thank you.
Wayne: And Drew Dwyer, it’s been a pleasure hosting with you once again. Thank you also for joining us. You can find our podcast on iTunes, you can find it on SoundCloud, you can find us in all the social media channels and of course, you can visit our website at Booms Day Prepping. So thank you for being with us, we’ll see you next week.